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Relationship Gender Norms & A Surprise Night At A Hotel


On Thursday my boyfriend Daniel landed in Stockholm. We’ve done 14 months of long distance now, FOURTEEN, which felt like an impossibility before. Everybody told us that long distance never works out, you’ll break up, don’t do it. Now it’s three weeks left of it, and we’ve made it. It is possible!

This was the last trip he would make to visit me in Stockholm so I wanted to surprise him with a hotel night just for the two of us. So I emailed this funky place and told them about my plans to see if they’d be up for helping me treat my man. And they responded with a YES, LET’S DO THIS!


Standing on the cold autumn streets of Stockholm with Daniel’s hands in my hair I told him about my plans. Just the two of us for a night, no flatmates, no relatives, no parents disturbing or people needing to socialising with.

It might sound small but not if you haven’t properly had time just you for over a year. Like a child he couldn’t contain himself when we walked to check in. It’s just by Arlanda Express which is perfect for all of us constant on tour.


Is there anything more glamorous than a well clad receptionist uttering Welcome, Miss Wiberg, you’re room is on the third floor with a surprise. Hope you enjoy your stay. 


Not used to being treated with such dignity we looked at each other big eyed. I could so get used to this. As soon as the doors had closed in the elevator and we had swiped our keycard to get to our floor we could not keep off each other anymore.


We stayed in a deluxe room that sure had a view(!), feeling like royalties, eating chocolate truffles and playing with the northern lights effect above the bed.


After a day and night out we walked alone in the cold back to the hotel and lied under the poofy duvets in the 280cm(!) bed talking about what the upcoming months withhold, where we’ll live, what we will do and how our relationship will once again change. It’s longed for and terrifying and I can’t wait.


I woke from the white winter light tickling my eyelids, hearing Daniel’s heavy breath amongst the four massive pillows. The autumn sun shone down on our clothes spread out all over the floor. It’s lucky that the hotel breakfasts are the highlights of a stay and makes it less heavy waking up.

Nordic-Ligth-Hotel-Stockholm-BreakfastThis one was no exception and we sat eating slowly slowly, flicking through the daily newspaper, sipping coffee, going for another round of waffles, making it last a little bit longer before it was time for us to check out for this time.


I try to treat Daniel to more ”girlie” stuff quite often. I feel so bad for boys who don’t get treated or pampered! When we first started seeing each other I bought him 50 tulips on a normal sunday and I thought he’d start crying. Nobody has ever bought me flowers before!

It’s difficult with gender norms in a hetero relationship. Especially knowing what comes from us as individuals and what’s from our societal heritage. Like Daniel hates everything that has to do with cooking whilst I adore spending hours trying new recipes and stirring pots all by myself. Is that because he’s a guy and I’m a girl and we’re taught that from start? Or is it just us and our preferences? Despite what the correct answer is I think it’s important to challenge it and not ”own” certain parts of the day but help each other break habits.

Either way treating each other with things we are not used to getting is important. It can be by surprising with a hotel night but also by making an extra nice breakfast on a normal weekday, plan a game night for just you two or buy two tickets to a cinema or a band you want to see as a surprise.


Thanks again Nordic Light Hotel for helping me treat my man.



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  • Hi Linn,

    I’m about to start a long distance relationship (also 14 months + 5 more when he’s back in the UK but not in London) and honestly your relationship with Daniel gives me life. The difference with mine is that we will literally be on opposite sides on the world from each other – him in New Zealand and me in London. We’ll both be studying so it’s not financially possible for me to visit him more than once during the year we’re apart, and I’m not sure how I’m going to hold up.

    We’re planning on moving in together after 18 months but it is such a long time i’m worried we might not feel the same. What are the things you guys did to stay so in love, and what things did you tell yourself in the times where you didn’t think it was possible to continue? It would be cool to hear Daniel’s side too. Brilliant post, thanks for being so honest and frank.

    Amy x

  • satan vad fierce du e, lyxigt med hotell och HURRA för er att ni klarat 14 månader så bra!!! puss

    Vicky 2015-10-07 23:41:37
  • Hej,

    Åh, ballt att ni pallat, himla fint par samt blogg:) Men jag undrar bara, då jag själv haft distans med min bf i London i 25 månader (wtf?), hur ni som studenter/unga och sånt har kunnat hälsa på varandra så mycket? Jag vet själv bara att, även om jag jobbar extra och sådär så hade jag aldrig kunnat hälsa på så mycket som ni har gjort, pengamässigt och inte heller tidsmässigt. Menar inte detta på något bittert sätt eller så överhuvudtaget, utan undrar mest bara hur ni klarat det på den praktiska fronten liksom då det ju är väldigt dyrt och tidskrävande osv att resa? Tror du ni hade klarat det lika bra om ni bara setts typ max 1 gång i månaden? Hörde häromdagen om ett par som hade distans NZ-Tyskland och en gång inte sågs på 9 månader.. what?

    Aja, keep on doing what you do, älskar bloggen!

    Hanna 2015-10-07 18:39:48
  • Åååh så mycket kärlek, ni är så mysiga <3 Vill typ gå ut och köpa blommor till ngn asap!

    Michelle 2015-10-06 20:37:41
  • Men gud ser så fint ut, bilderna är assnygga! Och så jäkla starka ni är som klarat detta året! Jag o min kille har också klarat ett år av långdistans men har dessvärre två kvar :///

    Ebba 2015-10-06 19:48:14
  • Men åh <3 big ups på det här inlägget – så snygga bilder och jag gillar reflektionen på roller i ett förhållande. Tänker på det mycket i mitt eget då jag blir skittrött på hur normativa jag och min pojkvän är vad gäller städning. Men är det egentligen en personlighetsgrej? Att jag behöver ha det rent och prydligt medan han fungerar i ett kaos? No idea.

    Älskar för övrigt hur ni hänger runt nakna. Det måste jag också ta för vana

    Sophie 2015-10-06 18:07:15
  • you are so awesome! (your both are)

    lena 2015-10-06 17:32:29
  • Hia! What would you buy/did buy for a 1 year anniversary gift for a boyfriend? Ideas?

    Rosa 2015-10-06 16:55:51
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