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this isn’t real, this is not suppose to happen, don’t they get that I’m not actually leaving

3 jared45 brunch21 Olivia The Friday before I moved Olivia and Jared had invited me over for brunch. Around midday I took my bike and cycled down a sunny Hackney to their new pad. Danielle’s brother Anthony was crashing there while looking for a flat. We all played rock music and saturated rnb, talking about bands and ice storms whilst Olivia cooked us divine celiac friendly brunch. It is so pleasantly convenient when a big bunch of friends happen to be unemployed at the same time. They gave me going away presents and as I opened them and then hugged them bye for the last time I just kept on thinking that this isn’t real, this is not suppose to happen, don’t they get that I’m not actually leaving. Because that’s what it feels like, fucking leaving the place and the people you’re suppose to be with. So dumb. And then I cycled back home in bare legs and my sunglasses just to pretend and surpress my sadness for a few more days.   Linn

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