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Crash and burn | my thoughts on downtime

Daniel-in-our-new-flat,-Clapton-2015 Daniel,-Clapton-2015

Lately life has been cluttered with change and musts alike. I find it easy to get lost in the rush of this society where focus is on performance. I don’t realise my limits until I’m exhausted to the point that I seriously consider convincing Daniel to move out to a cabin in the forest. Crash and burn. I’ve seen it happen to many around me and it’s not pretty. It is the one thing that scares me most, and too often I feel like I’m there gracing its surface.

Clapton-Instagram

This weekend I blocked out for downtime. It was unbelievably normal in the most rare of ways. I’ve focused my thought and energy only on the little things like what kind of sheets to buy, the creased white or the plain with a blue fold. We’ve also walked around the neighbourhood without a plan and watched seven episodes of the Bridge. In one shop we’ve never been into before we bought some Christmas presents and in another I found the M Train novel by Patti Smith I’ve been wanting to buy. I didn’t, but that doesn’t matter. When the darkness fell I streamed the Lucia celebration in Sweden whilst we did nothing but hang out. I’m not sure Daniel’s sold on Swedish Christmas carols yet, but the ginger bread biscuits seem to go down well. I wish there were more still days like these. But the only way to make sure there are, is making space for them.

Daniel,-Clapton-dec-2015 Daniel-in-Clapton,-dec-2015

Thankfully Christmas is arriving and for the first time ever, I won’t be travelling anywhere. Not to my sister in Sweden, my family in Kenya or my boyfriend’s family in Canada. Instead Daniel and I will stay here, just us. Although I feel sad about not getting to see my dear family, I also feel content with being able to not do anything. Next week Daniel and I are going to buy a Christmas tree and bake Swedish ‘lussekatter’, saffron buns. It’s ridiculously grown up for being 24, but that feels fantastic. I have a great sidekick after all, who loves doing nothing with me too.

 

 

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4kommentarer
  • Du skriver så utrolig vakkert, og bildene er fantastiske. Håper du vet selv hvor talentfull du er <3

    Vilja 2015-12-15 23:00:42
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  • I really relate to your thoughts on how performance permeates the society we live in. i’ve had the most terrible oct-nov with exams and several anxiety attacks, just worrying too much over how I’ll ever manage to live a real adult life with so much pressure and responsibility. I know you’re doing the right thing to make things a bit easier, spending time with your BF (who btw. looks absolutely gorgeous). it’s not boring grown-up style, it’s paying attention to the things that truly matters, which is goddamn important. so cuddle up with Daniel, watch harry potter 7, eat take-out for dinner, do your make up just for your own sake whilst listening to music and drinking red wine. stay in and feel how great it can be to spend some proper quality time with your self and your love.

    i’m always relieved by the fact that I know for sure that I’m so much more than my productivity. someones friend, lover, daughter, co-worker, grandchild, cousin, team mate etc. that means something, you know! there are so many ways to live a life and I’m sure that you being the ultimate queen, boss lady and all that, you’ll find a way through this confusing and rough time <3 I'm cheering for you

    Josephine 2015-12-14 21:27:31
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  • Helt rätt underbara syster att njuta av idag och att KUNNA stanna upp och ta vara på varandra. Det är nägot jag också måste bli bättre på.
    Saknar dig ❤️

    Moa 2015-12-14 10:27:26
    Svara
  • Först, vilka UNDERBARA bilder. De första två på Daniel är så vackra. Näst, vad klok du är som stannar upp och känner efter. Hoppas ni får en mysig jul bara är ni två.

    Nastasja 2015-12-14 09:03:55 http://nastasja.blogg.se
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